Undecided to decided is a BIG deal for me since I’m THE definition of an indecisive Libra, but here’s my journey…it’s called be patient with yourself.
What I know today about life’s journey is not what I knew 2, 4, 8 years ago… It has been a journey indeed, and a never-ending one at that. But I’m not mad because I can now appreciate it for what it has been…my magical journey filled with ups and downs.
It has felt like a long ride of being stuck half the time, feeling unfulfilled and just purposeless. But somewhere along the way, the downs were there to teach me a lesson. I may not have seen the lesson in the moment but reflection has shown me it’s all a part of my life’s path.
Undecided
My path hasn’t been easy. I was never the girl who knew exactly what she wanted to do in life at a young age. It was never a ‘I want to be a doctor,’ or ‘I want to be a lawyer,’ or ‘I love dancing and want to be a professional dancer.’ Nope. None of that for me. If I’m to really think back to my younger days, I more saw myself on TV (I was the one who routinely sang and danced along loudly to High School Musical sing-alongs on Disney Channel…wow good times!!).
I actually was adamant on being a model. Runway at that. And I’m a chocolate Caribbean girl so I’ve always been on the “thicker” side with these thunder thighs, and back then – that WASN’T it. It was not the model look they were looking for. Plus, I’m 5’6.5″. So Haaa! Come again Bri. That idea vanished after a while…Thank fully. I more stuck to commercial modeling, which I love.
But let me start from high school. I went through high school doing the Sciences, thinking I wanted to be a pediatrician (because I LOVE babies – I guess I wasn’t thinking too deep into the depths of pediatrics back then). Anywho, I was firm in my decision on that (which is fine, because college was where it really mattered – or so I thought).
Fast forward to college, first semester with Biology class which included Lab (oh the joy) … and boy did I scrape my way through it. Got a C. Yessss! I passed!! But, I also passed on the idea of becoming a Pediatrician and FAST!!!. Now we’re in the second semester, and I changed my major to “Undecided” And honestly, I’ve been undecided ever since. Plus, it doesn’t help that I’m a Libra baby (the most indecisive Zodiac sign of them all). Just great!
After taking all the core requisites (classes we needed in order to graduate), I had no other choice but to choose something so I randomly chose Communication with a focus in Public Relations (it seemed like my personality at the time – I love building relationships) with a minor in Marketing, because why not? Definitely learned a lot of things in those fields, also learned at the end of it that I did NOT want to do public relations. It’s not something I saw myself doing forever. Marketing wasn’t bad though. I liked that. But do I remember all the material I learned in each course? Absolutely not. Sighhh.
Here we go. LIFE BEGAN and so did the experiences!
Decided
I haven’t had a weallllthhhhh of experiences but I’ve had a pretty good amount under my belt. I’ve worked with amazing brands and really, at each company, I loved what I was doing for a while…then got bored or over it soon after. The pattern I was noticing was that these corporate-desk-office jobs were just not for me. And that’s OK. Some things are for Jessie and some things are for Brittany. I did not last longer than one year in each field within each job. And I couldn’t just stick through with the jobs either because LISTEN! I’m NOT one to settle. Never been. Never will. Neverrrrrr settle guys!! Read those 2 words again. I’ll give you a minute….
Ok so here I am today, still don’t have it all figured out but I’m less on the undecided side since learning to be patient with my myself, and I’ve decided to do the things that fill me with joy and happiness. Whatever it is. Even if it doesn’t work out in the long haul, I’ll be content knowing I tried. Why? Because we have this one precious life so why should we hold back on trying the things we may have always wanted to try? (Cue this blog and Youtube Channel). Shameless plug! Ok but seriously, I can tell you this, I know experience is what helps to figure out the things we don’t love which then helps to narrow down what we do love.
Overall, my path has been a special one. It’s not an ordinary path or one most people may travel. I know I’ll be creating my own path as I go along. Some people may not understand or “approve” but guess what, you don’t need anyone but your own approvals in this life. It’s your life. Do you boo boo. You don’t need everyone to understand. Those who do will be the ones who support you.
Sidebar (incase you didn’t get the memo above): You are not for everyone and everyone is not for you. And it’s OK!!! You’ll find your people. You’ll find your path. Even if you have to create it and shift from undecided to DECIDED (just be patient and trust the process). I’m still on my ever growing journey .. as we are ever evolving beings.
Growth is constant. We are constantly changing and evolving and with each blooming stage reveals a new layer of ourselves. Like a flower, we don’t bloom overnight. It takes time and our bloom happens in different seasons.
After years of work and learning to be patient, I’ve finally gone from my undecided to decided season of being passionate about building my personal brand, my love life, self-healing and wellness. And it feels GOOD! I’ve been sowing and slowly but surely beginning to reap. Find solace like I do in knowing that you cannot expect fruit on the same day you plant the seed. You have to be patient with yourself. It will come!
I hope you enjoy this read! Let me know if you share similar sentiments or where you are on your “undecided to decided” journey. I would love to hear!
